Sunday, December 23, 2007

My Own Christmas Miracle

I had a miracle happen today, my own Christmas miracle. I was called as choir director for our ward. For those of you who are not of the LDS faith, I was asked to direct the Choir for my church, purely voluntary. My Bishop said he was inspired to ask me -HA! I didn't believe him, and I even went as far as telling him he missed the mark.

I grumbled for weeks and finally started having choir practice to get ready for the Christmas program in 8 weeks. Despite what my friends think, this was such a difficult thing for me. I will admit that in my youth, things came easy to me. I could sing in front of a crowd and felt little fear in front of people. But I have changed over the years. As I have struggled with health problems and different things in my life, I seemed to have lost my confidence. I am incredibly forgetful and I cringe at the thought of people looking to me and relying on me to lead them.

Practices moved along and I did my homework and tried my hardest. But I have to tell you that this white girl has NOOOOOO rhythm. I wrestled with my hands, trying to make them do what my mind was thinking. The choir was patient with me and I continually fumbled the cut offs and cues.

The day of the performance arrived and I wanted to throw up as I sat there waiting for the program to begin. And then it came to me. If the Bishop was really inspired to call me as choir director, then I am doing exactly what the Lord wants me to do. I realized at that moment that this did not have to be my burden. I have done everything in my power to make this a success and now it was His turn to come through for me. I prayed harder than ever and told God that I was done. Now it was His turn to make my hands do what they needed to do. I wasn't going to be nervous because if this is what He wants, then He had better be there helping me. (Are you allowed to get a little bossy in your prayers? - cause I was). I wasn't asking for His help, I was DEMANDING it.

The program began, and I was nervous at first. But something happened - magic! The choir sounded like angels. Things that weren't working before, now came together like chocolate and peanut butter. I couldn't believe my ears. I felt the excitement swell within me as we went along and I was able to hit every cue and cut off. I didn't want it to end. I prayed that the people in the choir and in the congregation would feel the true spirit of Christmas. And you know what? I think they did. I realized through this whole thing, that it's not about me. God has a bigger purpose and I was just glad to be apart of it.

This was my miracle and I am sharing it with you.
Merry Christmas!


Diane Barazoto said...

I'm the choir director in my ward and I can totally relate to your feelings! I always tell my choir that come Sunday, the angels sing with us. Miracles occur everytime the choir stands up to sing. And it really does get easier.
Diane Barazoto

Meredith said...

that was a great post and you did SOO GOOD today. it was great, sounded wonderful and you looked like you had done it for years :) the BAD part of that is..bishop wont get rid of ya now! :)

Laurel said...

Amen, amen, amen!!! It was terrific, and you were awesome. Not one mistake; not one oopsie; not even one hesitation. So good! The choir did well, but you have to know it was due to excellent direction, and yes, I will admit, a little help from above.

Bravo to YOU!!!

And you know what? You're not the only one who is less confident now that we're older. Me too! I guess it's because we now know we don't know everything like we once thought we did? Is that it? Darn these growing pains. When does that end anyway?

David & I said...

The first two numbers were awesome and I was so excited to be there but then ofcourse Trevor acted up and made me go out in the hall and heaven knows I didn't hear much out there. It makes me sad because I love and appreciate anyone who is musically talented because I am not. So it sounded and looked great to me.

briansarahannah said...

I'll have to remember your experience the next time I get a calling that I don't feel up to. The program on Sunday really was beautiful, and you looked beautiful up there too. Brian was trying to find some way to make fun of Jeff, but really everyone looked and sounded great.

Angie said...

I thought it was amazing. I really do feel like it was a great Christmas program. You did an amazing job!!